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~My Holiday Diary~

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(no subject) [Jul. 29th, 2006|05:02 pm]
~My Holiday Diary~
[mood |okayokay]

My new background is from the spiffy site www.ahomemadechristmas.com! Great backgrounds, sigtags, and tons of other holiday stuff for your enjoyment :)

Now I'm inspired to add a few more Christmas tile backgrounds to my site. I'm thinking muted red poinsettias, green trees, holly, and candy cane backgrounds. Maybe a gingerbread man one or a snowman one. I might do those tonight and get them posted on my site :D

I have one Christmas gift bought already, and I'm going to stock up on a few things for Operation Christmas Child and our local stocking drive. Yes, there's little less than 5 months left, but as I always say, it's good to prepare early to avoid the unnecessary stress that inevitably arrives the day after Thanksgiving's warm glow has faded. And due to the severe stress I went through last December, which I didn't even post about here really, I'd prefer to be relaxed this year and make do of the holiday what it's SUPPOSED to be about. Worshiping, making more precious memories, and giving. And simply being, which for some reason feels more fulfilling at that time of year than any other.

The only thing that has me a little stressed is Trevor's. I want to give him the world and more, but so little money...*sighs* I want to get him an MP3 player so badly. I'm hoping I'll be working by October, so it would be fine then.

That's all for now, unless I get the backgrounds done and posted later today :)
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Christmas linkssss [Jul. 28th, 2006|12:41 am]
~My Holiday Diary~
[mood |energeticenergetic]

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Just some thoughts [Jul. 27th, 2006|01:22 am]
~My Holiday Diary~
[mood |bouncybouncy]

Though it's still high summer, with everything warm and golden and humid and full of lazy afternoons and busy evenings (except for the general workforce), I'm already thinking ahead to autumn and Christmas. Despite balmy evenings of hazy yellow moon and winking fireflies, where I sit basking in my own heat and wishing for the ac to come back on, I wish for autumn's glory.

People take simple things about seasons for granted too much. They think there's nothing special about them, and they really don't pay attention to them other than having to change their wardrobe in accordance. Oh, I love autumn.

Christmas lovers around here will already be getting excited. Things will be getting more cloudy and wet, with frequent blistering days that will peter out by the end of the month. Despite the summer-hot days, the humidity will drop dramatically and the nights start cooling with lows in the 50's instead of the 60's and 70's. By the middle of the month, the lush emerald leaves will start to change, and by the end, delicately gilt foilage will be seen almost everywhere. I will gladly welcome the days of non-hazy mountains and blustery days as the month ages. If all goes well, we'll be going to New York, then down to Virginia Beach for the spectacular closing of the Neptune Festival.

The brightness of the foilage will gradually increase, and the days will be filled with cloudless, cobalt-colored skies and dazzling leaves. Other days will show paler skies with great clouds that are rushing past in high winds and resemble torn wool, and yet there will still be relatively hot days. I should be finished with a lot of the Christmas preparations by then, and finishing applying for my college grant (unless destiny chooses another path for me). I should also be applying for a job. I'll greatly enjoy days of putting on snuggly sweaters and drinking season-appropriate hot drinks, and sleeping very comfortably on the ever-colder nights.

Before the middle of the month approaches, everything will be lain bare and the grass will be dead and golden-brown due to the first heavy frost. I'll trim back the Japanese holly bushes, and put flannel sheets on my bed. The intense inner peace and contentment I feel in autumn will still be riding its high as Thanksgiving approaches, which, as it will be held at Amanda's house again this year, will yield Christmas excitement because her street will have beautiful holiday light displays hanging from the streetlights and will be turned on at dusk. The day after the traditional Macy's parade on tv and the grateful get-together out of the coldness, it will be time to start decorating for Christmas.

I realized something tonight, as I happened to look at myself in the mirror in my bathroom. I'm not nearly as pale and drawn as I was last summer. I walk taller, my chin up, my body much healthier from the inside out. My skin is no longer dry and ashen with constant worry and imperfect health; it's golden and literally shimmers, and my face has a lot of color to it. I've got my GED on my wall, with the marbelized black Valedictorian plaque beaming under it, I'm trying my hardest to overcome my MASSIVE fear of driving, and I know that my life is slowly getting somewhere. I no longer hate myself, I no longer feel low on myself all the time, I no longer feel like this young life of mine is worthless. Spurts of anger, impatience, and frustration are extremely short-lived now. My tears have greatly lessened, and instead of crying nearly every day like I was at this time last year, I hardly cry at all unless I'm missing Trevor and my best friend Jonathan. Womanhood has set in, making me much more wise, mature, and intuitive than I was before. More intelligent, more confident, more determined.

I know, and I know it with a pleasant little leap of happiness, that I will enjoy every second of this autumn and Christmas season. I'm a different person than I was last year...much different. I swore to last year, but just couldn't, because I was swallowed by waves of my own damn depression and hopelessness. I found it terrible that I couldn't enjoy the month of December at all.

I will damn well stay connected to my childhood this season, too. Watch holiday movies I haven't seen since childhood. Bake for my family and have Becky help me, so she can grow the same simple yet precious memories that I have. Just get lost in the joys and excitement of everything, including the biggest joy.

Struggling to just hand God the reins of my life was the best thing I could have possibly done. Look how He's taken care of me.

So, to end this amazingly long entry, what's left of this year is precious to me, and I will enjoy it, and I will have fun without bringing myself down, dammit! :)
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Almost officially Christmas in July! [Jul. 24th, 2006|12:01 am]
~My Holiday Diary~
[mood |excitedexcited]

What's going on: Nothing much, but I'm starting to get more active in terms of Christmas thinking and excitement...it's a gorgeous summer night right now, and I'm already thinking of hot cocoa and holiday music and glowing tree lights!

Any Christmas ideas/things getting done? I am SOOOO participating in Operation Christmas Child this year!!! Check it out ~here~. I'm going to do all three age groups, and I really need to make a list of what to put in the boxes. I feel really excited, and I've already gotten a couple things rounded up. Any school/drawing supplies that I intend on getting are on sale and will continue to be on sale thanks to school starting back up here at the end of next month. One thing I have to ask though...I read somewhere that you have to donate money along with the box. Is this for each box, or just one? And how much should I donate? I'm really worried I'm not going to have enough money after creating these boxes, and may have to only resort to one box instead of three :( Mom's trying to forbid me from doing this at all :(

Christmas reminders: Ah, I'm reminded every day thanks to visiting the Christmas All Year board! And Christmas In July is a big reminder, too, though even us Christmas nuts don't participate in it. I think I'd love to do it when I have kids, because I have a feeling they're going to be holiday nuts just like me, Amanda, Debbie, Becky, Aunt Linda, and Mom ;)
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Slight updateness [Jun. 19th, 2006|02:05 pm]
~My Holiday Diary~
[mood |bouncybouncy]
[music |Nickelback]

What's going on: Nothing much, just enjoying the central air that's combating the high temperatures outside >.< I'm bored as you-know-what and would like to try my hand at some Christmas crafts, but I don't have a lot of materials here. I might take to the embroidery machine this evening and make a couple things. I'm also trying to figure out what to do with the Christmas page of my site...nothing spiffy is coming to mind.

Any Christmas ideas/things getting done? Well, my sister has decided to do our Christmas a lot differently this year. Instead of all the adults getting each other gifts, we're going to draw names from a bowl. We each get one adult in the family to buy for, and in turn we get someone to buy for us. One gift each, equaling $25. We get to write our wishlist out so the assigned family member knows just what to get (YAY FOR NO RETURNS/EXCHANGES!!!). It's an awesome idea, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a Walmart or Michael's giftcard at the top of my wishlist, but I feel really guilty and horrible at the thought of not getting anyone else in my family anything. I mean, my nieces and nephews will all get something small (my plan for the little stockings and coordinating items inside has been scrapped, but not of my own accord :(), and my parents will get stuff, but mehhhh.

And, of course, I still get to get gifts for Trevor, Mandi, Catherine, Stephanie, and I'd like to participate in MLP Arena's Christmas swap this year. But there's still this horribly nagging feeling that family members of mine are going to be left out by me, and that doesn't seem fair. *Shrugs* But whatever, I have no choice but go with the idea. It is pretty cool, and this way we're not going to get so horribly stressed out during what's supposed to be a joyous holiday. Maybe I'll make a small little something for everyone *Flips through the awesome craft book she got from the library* It's just really hard to think about Christmas right now, when it's time for my GED graduation (I passed and made Valedictorian!!!), summer heat, trips to Fairy Park and the zoo (and hopefully to see my SO), and birthdays/thank you gifts.

Christmas Reminders: The Hallmark Dreambook is now out, and I've been looking through it and fantasizing about which ornaments I'd like to have. I really can't wait until I can get one of those "Our First Christmas" ones...*sighs*

Other than that, nothing else is happening, so I'm signing out ;)
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Hmm [Apr. 25th, 2006|09:18 pm]
~My Holiday Diary~
[mood |bouncybouncy]

Yes, I'm still alive, and I haven't forgotten this journal or the ~Christmas page~ of my site.

Unfortunately, the New York trip isn't happening, most likely, but I still need my finances for a few things including my GED next month :) I'm REALLY excited about that. Hopefully afterwards I'll have enough to go to a driving school, because I need my license quite badly.

I think I'll make a few gifts from scratch to go ahead and put away, since I don't have a lot of money to spare right now. I should go ahead and make the kids' theme stockings; I could also hand-make a lot of the stuff that will go in there, and pick the rest up at Walmart every now and then. That would be 6 gifts taken care of ;)

I think that's all I have to say right now...it's very hard for me to think of Christmas when summer is so visible around the corner, and we're under a severe storm watch...
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(no subject) [Feb. 25th, 2006|09:45 pm]
~My Holiday Diary~
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]

Well, I wasn't able to do as I had planned, but the whole get-gifts-now-and-put-away deal will have to wait until mid to late April, after I recover financially from the New York trip :)

Most likely, we're not going to be with our family this Christmas. It all depends on where we move, though. If we move back to western New York, it's a no-go and Mom and I will have to ship everything south. If it's to Virginia's Tidewater, we can easily make the 4-hour trip back to this area to celebrate with family.

Must look on the bright side. This may well be the first Christmas I get to spend with Trevor in person :)

I CAN'T get the song "Caroling, Caroling" out of my head. At least, I think that's what it's called O_o Becky keeps singing Christmas songs as well, so I think she's a young Christmas freak in training ;)

My Christmas page is up at my site...any cool ideas for it that you may have for me, by all means let me know!
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Gift ideas [Jan. 30th, 2006|12:25 am]
~My Holiday Diary~
[mood |artisticartistic]

OK, here's what I'm planning to do. I'm going to go ahead and buy/make spiffy gifts for everyone, one person a month. This way, I can have everything ready and put away in the closet, and I won't be spending a ton of money in one period of time like I do every dang December. I need to stick Shannon in here too, because I've got a spiffy idea ^_^

Through the months...Collapse )
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And so the countdown begins afresh [Jan. 28th, 2006|07:04 pm]
~My Holiday Diary~
[mood |bouncybouncy]

Wow...I'm surprised I didn't update in a *cough* timely manner. I hope everyone had a great Christmas...I'm still recovering from the anti-climatic factor, since after December 12th, which was my last entry, everything smoothed out and went much better.

The cookie-baking didn't go quite as planned, and it was a pain in the bahookie! I made White Velvet Cutouts and ended up throwing the recipe away, because they became the Baking Session From Hell. >.< But they did get made, though Becky and I ate almost all of them! Mom and I made fruitcake muffins too, and for the first time in my life, I enjoyed them...rofl. We were also going to make melt-aways and peppermint pinwheels but didn't get around to it, but oh well, saved us the extra pounds we woulda gained xD

The family get-together on the 18th was so fun, though I got a couple items I didn't want! *blush* So Mom and I went to mega Walmart late at night the following day (we LOVE shopping late at night...it's so random and fun), and I exchanged both items for a Gamecube game I wanted.

And on Christmas Eve, Mom and I went to midnight mass; the first I'd ever been to. On the way there and back, we looked at all the beautiful Christmas lights shining their silent joy in the darkness, and mass itself was just...incredible. It set so much perfect joy and tranquility in me that I knew everything was fine and it felt like nothing was ever going to go wrong again, and that I needn't worry about things and that I'm surrounded by love. I guess that's my most memorable moment of Christmas 2005...it's still so fresh and beautiful in my mind. She and I came home and relaxed about a half hour, me sitting before the glimmering tree and listening to holiday music as I drank some tea. Everything was all right...everything was full and perfect and joyous.

For the first time in my life, it was cloudy and rainy on Christmas Day. A very unusual weather change, and it made bigger my sense of coziness. I loved every single one of my presents, and my parents loved theirs. The day was happy and bright with the light of our joy, and I only hope this year will be the same.

Oh...Mom got me these DKNY stretch jeans for Christmas...they were originally for Amanda but she can't fit back into size 5's in Juniors yet, and they *looked* like they'd fit me, so I got them. They didn't fit me that day, so I put them away for when Amanda does finish losing pregnancy weight/inches, but I tried them on again a couple weeks ago and BAM, they fit! Unfortunately they're really low-rise, so they sit right on my hipbones and push up and out all the nasty pudge that's left. BUT THEY FIT, and I didn't have to lay down or anything to pull on/zip/button! And I'm still 140-some pounds! O_O So that's a Christmas joy that's carried over a whole month...LOL.

I was just going to delete this journal, but I'm going to let it carry over for this year. I'm starting to prepare for Christmas already...it never hurts to start getting ready early! I want to make sure I don't get stressed out so much this year, especially since I'm going to be working and probably going to college (and POSSIBLY moving, but that's only a slight possibility right now). I want to plan the homemade gifts and get them done by this fall, but I want to come up with really cool and creative things. I've already gotten some ideas but I need more inspiration. I'll also start picking up little purchased things as gifts soon, so they'll accumulate over the course of 2006 and I won't have to do that horrible rushing thing that I do every year. And for all you Christmas lovers out there, I'm going to document every step of the way, every feeling, and every idea and plan :)
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Christmas blues [Dec. 12th, 2005|07:41 pm]
~My Holiday Diary~
[mood |sadsad]

The past three evenings, I've been crying. The gifts and cards I've sent out aren't NEARLY as good as the stuff I've gotten in return, and I feel stingy and horrible. Nobody in my family is interested in the homemade gifts I worked hard on since September. I was supposed to finish my Christmas shopping with Mom tomorrow evening while Debbie came down to stay with Dad, but that's out of the question now because Becky's school play is tomorrow evening and it can't be missed. Wednesday and Thursday we're getting another ice storm, which will make Friday and Saturday impassable, and Sunday is our holiday get-together and I HAVE to have these last gifts by then!!! And Mom doesn't want to go to the store on a Saturday!!! I don't know what I'm supposed to do! Mom almost had a heart attack earlier from additional stress, and I'm so sick of crying already. I'm sick of feeling like a bad person, like a bad gift-giver, sick of being stressed.
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